There’s a kind of fear that only parents truly understand.
It’s not the fear of scraped knees or missed curfews—it’s the quiet ache in your chest when you realize you can’t be there for every battle your children will face.
I’ve felt that fear since each of my daughters was born.
But over the last few years—with the world as it is, months spent studying Scripture, and a deeper understanding of God’s character—that concern has become more intense.
I love Jesus and trust God’s sovereignty.
And yet… I worry about the spiritual well-being of my children, future grandson, my nieces and nephews. If you’re a parent, grandparent, aunt or uncle – you know what I mean.
This post is related to my little prayer book, filled with hand-written spiritual warfare prayers.
Think about any possible life trial or struggle a human can face. I probably have a prayer for it—one that might give me comfort, or it might not—but I say it anyway, because I know God is always listening. I’ve learned that it’s something I do to give myself an idea that I could have some semblance of control in the middle of things that are beyond my control.
One of my most futile attempts at negotiating with the Heavenly Father
About a month ago, I spent an entire day doing something I didn’t expect. Please excuse my naivety… It is what it is. I searched the Bible — earnestly — looking for any way I could sacrifice myself for all the children I love in my life.
Not in a morbid sense.
Not because I don’t value life.
But because I love them so deeply that I wondered, “Is there anything I can do to stand in their place?”
I searched Scripture from cover to cover—looking for ways to “save” my children (also grandson, nieces and nephews) if they decided they didn’t want to be “saved.” (However, to my encouragement, I’m not the only human in biblical history to try doing what I did, so that helps.)
I imagine my prayer went like this:
“Well, ummm, hi God, it is me again. You know I looked in the Bible, but I couldn’t find any actual recipe or formula for this… but would it be OK if I took the punishment for anything these kids did or may do in this lifetime? Cuz, ummm, I really prefer to not go to Heaven if they cannot go with me… like… it would not be Heaven… to not have them… So, is that allowed? Because… Heavenly Father, I did not do a great job in helping them to believe you or love you… so could you please accept my soul to pay for any sins marked against them in their lifetime?”
Feel free to chuckle at the absurdity of my efforts. This is a true story. Anyway, this leads me down an entirely existential kind of conversation with myself and more study of Scripture, only to learn that He is sovereign, He is just, and He loves me… just as much as them.
God’s answer – essentially: “Ummmm, No… you cannot take the eternal punishment for the sins of any other human being. It is very explicitly described in that handy-dandy Bible book you carry everywhere now. However, dear child, I do love you, and all of these wonderful questions you keep sending me every day.”
What I ultimately discovered was both sobering and freeing:
God, in His sovereignty, grants every human being individual choice.
I cannot take away my children’s sin any more than I can take away my own.
Only Christ can atone.
That realization didn’t leave me hopeless — it clarified my role.
I am not their Savior.
But I am still their mother, grandmother or their aunt.
A Quiet Verse That Brought Unexpected Comfort
While studying the Book of Job, I came across a verse I had read before — but this time, it hit my spirit differently:
“When these celebrations wrapped up—sometimes after days—Job would cleanse his children. He’d rise early each morning to offer a burnt offering for each of them. Job thought, ‘Maybe my children have sinned and have cursed God in their hearts.’ This was Job’s usual routine.” — Job 1:5
That line, “This was Job’s regular practice,” brought me such peace.
Before Job’s suffering.
Before the debates.
Before the whirlwind.
Job was just a father who prayed for his children consistently, not because he could control their hearts, but because he loved them.
What Job Didn’t Do — And Why That Matters
Job didn’t:
Force belief
Control outcomes
Demand certainty
Assume his children were beyond God’s reach
He said “perhaps.”
Not accusation.
Not panic.
Just humility and intercession.
And Scripture doesn’t criticize him for it.
God records it.
Records it.
Intercession is not control — and that’s a good thing. There’s a difference between atonement and intercession.
I can’t repent for my children.
I can’t believe on their behalf.
I can’t remove consequences from their choices.
But I can:
Pray.
Ask God to protect them.
Ask Him to restrain harm.
Ask Him to surround them with grace.
Entrust them daily to a God who loves them even more than I do.
Protection doesn’t mean coercion.
Covering doesn’t mean control.
And God honors prayers born of love — even when belief hasn’t fully formed yet.
To the Parent Who Is Tired of Worrying
If you are exhausted from carrying your children in your prayers…
If you fear you haven’t “done enough”…
If you lie awake wondering who will guard their hearts when you can’t…
Hear this:
Your prayers are not wasted.
Your concern is not a lack of faith.
And your love has not gone unnoticed by God.
You can’t save your children —But you can faithfully entrust them.
And Scripture shows us that God sees that kind of love.
A Prayer I Hold Onto
This is the prayer I return to again and again:
“Lord, I can’t make things right for my children, but I can give them to You each day.
Please watch over them while You’re waiting.
Shield them as they grow and develop.
And guide them softly, in Your own way.”
That prayer really helps me feel at peace.
And if you’re a praying parent who’s reading this, You’re not alone in this journey.
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